Wired

Sorry I've not posted in a while but I've been too busy coming down off of my self inflected guarana extract high. What's a guarana extract high you say? Well, I wish I knew because I could of done without the unexpected methamphetamine buzz Coke decided I needed to help "PERK" me up. All I know is guarana extract is something Coca-Cola has put in their new "energy" drink Full Throttle. Apparently, guarana has twice the caffeine as opposed to good old regular caffeine we used to get from coffee, tea, or soda. Coke says, "That's not good enough! We want you to feel energized so as not to feel pain when you happen to accidentally shut your hand in a door or crush a testicle or wonder why strangers are looking at you, a little frightened, when you can't stop talking to them." This all started when I decided to take a can of this stuff from our ice chest at work as our shift was ending and drink it. The shift may of ended, but I was far from being done after the guarana extract kicked in. Even after peeing green for three hours, an effect brought on by the vitamin-B from this container of health and energy, I was still raring to go. If Coke set out to sell legal narcotics to unsuspecting people, they have indeed succeeded. Crack dealers beware!